As I wrote that title, I literally said "Am I 31?" out loud alone at home on my couch just now. I mean is this what happens? You start to forget your age? I can't believe I just said that out loud and had to ask myself what my age was. I think since I've turned 30 I stopped thinking about my age. The time is also flying by so fast and I can't keep track of anything.
Anyway what that title means is that I want to run 31 miles in a day by my next birthday coming this January. It feels so nice to sit down and write here again. With all the social media buzzing around, sometimes just writing more than a fucking paragraph feels like way too much work but I have to remember that anyone who is reading this actually wants to read about whatever it is I'm doing. If they didn't care - they wouldn't be here. If no one reads this, then that still doesn't matter as well! I think I just miss the days where i literally blogged twice, sometimes three times a week for 7 years. I can't believe I had that old blog forever. But like diaries, the moment I feel that an era has passed, I throw the diary away aka delete my old websites.
I end up writing with too much detail that I look back and it feels embarrassing.
In my last era of true blogging I wrote about running. It was 5 years ago and I was just starting to run. I recently got sober in July of 2013 and had a lot of thoughts, feelings I wasn't used to, and energy to expel. It truly changed me. In 2015 I joined a mountaineering group and stopped running as much because I was told that it would injure me for climbing. I was in a place where I just followed directions and thought ok sure, no more running. Training for climbing season was dreadful. I would spend that year carrying weight going up the same steep hikes over and over usually around North Bend. I climbed Baker and Rainier and that was great and all. Then a couple years ago I stopped training. I stopped climbing for the most part, and I started going on the fun hikes with beautiful views that I loved so much. I started becoming obsessed with packing lighter. Basically anything to get me as far away from mountaineering as possible. I started trading my hiking boots for trail runners. I got the vest, my bare essentials, and started running the flats and the downhills.
This is still basically my life today and that's the happiest I've ever been. I remember the first couple years of sobriety was easy for me because I literally had no friends from having to cut out all the drunkies from my life....so I ran as much as I could and had nothing stopping me. I'm in a similar place today - except today I surround myself with other runners to push in the direction of my dream.
When I first got sober I read the book called Eat & Run by Scott Jurek and it was the sole reason for buying a pair of running shoes. When I used to climb, I would think about ultra runners stories and I would tell myself "Tiare people can run 100 miles in a day....you can walk up this mountain slowly while tied up to your friends". I could climb anything knowing that there were runners running miles that seemed absolutely impossible for me.
Some people here in Washington look at Rainier everyday and say to themselves, "Someday I'm going to climb that mountain."
For me: "Someday I am going to run an ultra."
That has literally always been my dream. I could always see Rainier as possible, I could see anything as possible.....but when it came to long distance running, I was backed in a corner thinking "not me. that is impossible for meeeeee,"
So I'm 31 today and today I'm looking at this as POSSIBLE.
It makes my heart burst.
Nothing makes me more excited. I am not fast, I also don't care where I place or how long anything ever takes, but I do have passion and that is enough for me.
This December 8th I signed up for my first 50k - the Deception Pass 50k and holy smokes I'm so excited. It will be one of the easier 50k's so that is why I chose it as my first. The area is absolutely beautiful and I will try to share my journey along the way, or you can follow me on my Instagram = @tiarevincent