minimalism

Photo Journal, Running

Having Fun with the Process

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Today make a single plan for your future. Something you’ve always wanted to do or somewhere you’ve always wanted to go. Now get excited for what you can do today, tomorrow & the weeks or years ahead. Have this plan in the future but get more excited about right now. What can you do right now?

Someday you will look back and wish you spent more time thriving in the little moments.

When you thrive in today, you never have to wish you were somewhere else. It’s great to have goals but it’s even greater to have moments that mean a lot to you during the process.

This is where I am today.

Right here.

I’m always dreaming about the future and lose track of today. My “goal” right now is to make every single day matter while still having my exciting plans in the future. I will write down a list every evening of how I can make my next 24 hours fantastic and it will just be a fun little game for me.

Running, Photo Journal

Ultra Training around Mount Baker

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Becca and I are training for a 50k in December. Our schedule said to run 20 miles on Saturday so we pieced together a route that did just that yesterday near Baker. I’ve done pieces of this trail before but never in good weather.  This Saturday was absolutely perfect having this sunny day on the one day out of the weeks of rain ahead.

It’s crazy that just one year ago I was recovering from an ankle injury that kept me from running for months. Last November I started a little group that would run (just one mile a day) for every single day of November. I also was signing up for 3-5 mile trail races and finding it incredibly tough. I loved them but at the same I couldn’t see past the idea of just running that distance. 

I have always found the idea of running an ultra distance impossible. Now one year later and back to back half marathons in the mountains along with a couple 20 mile races, here we are! We have to run around 20 miles every Saturday followed by 10ish every Sunday and a couple runs during the week. It’s amazing what is possible for your body and what is possible for your mind when you truly want something. I am not fast, I don’t care about being faster, but I do care about experiencing joy on a long run. At this moment in my life, 20-30 miles is a long run. The joy I get from long days in my favorite places is exactly where I want to be and what makes me the happiest.  

 

Saturday we met at 5:30am to head towards Mount Baker. We started to head up the Chain Lakes trail which was breathtaking having Mount Shuksan behind us and Mount Baker in front of us. Then we trekked over to Ptarmigan Ridge for awhile before we saw a gorgeous green lake off to the left of us so of course we had to go there. After that we headed back to Ptarmigan on our way to the Glacial Route trail. Weather moved in so we made our way back to finish the Chain Lakes loop then to the Goose trail only to find our way back at the parking lot with 17 or 18 miles.  

Even though Becca had a bad ankle roll at the end of our day we knew we had to get 20. We made tons of loops around the parking lot till we hit 20 and that is always the best feeling. It’s hard to see that you’re almost there then settle for something below your goal.  

So there is beauty I’m finishing strong. 

There is beauty is the journey:) 

Here is Becca, Hamlin and Nate heading up the Chain lakes trail

Here is Becca, Hamlin and Nate heading up the Chain lakes trail

📸: Nate Brown

📸: Nate Brown

Becca and I on a little patch of snow on the Ptarmigan Ridge trail

Becca and I on a little patch of snow on the Ptarmigan Ridge trail

Runnable spaces. 📸: Nate Brown

Runnable spaces. 📸: Nate Brown

We looked to the left and far this lake and so grateful we took a side trail to get a little close

We looked to the left and far this lake and so grateful we took a side trail to get a little close

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 📸: Nate Brown took this of me frolicking in the way back to Ptarmigan 

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📸: Nate Brown

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my favorite kind of trail

Gorgeous views of baker  

Gorgeous views of baker  

Layers  

Layers  

Becca and I taking a look at the parking lot we still needed to run to.  

Becca and I taking a look at the parking lot we still needed to run to.  

Photo Journal

Welcoming 2018 - Without Filters

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I recently stumbled across an old app where I used to write all of my blogposts for an old website that I had for about 6 years. I blogged at least once a week for 7 YEARS!!!!! I think people appreciated it a lot because I really just used it as an open journal of my life. This app had so many drafts from all of my old blog posts and I found myself reading through so many of them with a smile on my face. It inspired me showing up again on here.

It was called tiarefitness.com and then later changed to tiareexplores.com - it always felt that it either had to be a blog about working out (which I'm obsessed with so that was easy) or it was the beginning of my outdoor adventures. 

I talked about my explorations, my yoga challenges, my yoga teacher training, my alcoholism, my DUI's, jail, running, eating disorders, sobriety and then I deleted it. Just like that goodbye last 7 years. I have never been able to hold on to a real diary because once a chapter passed in my life, THE DIARY LITERALLY WOULD GET TOSSED AWAY too. It's just like clutter....it's uncomfortable just knowing that it's there. That's how my old blogposts felt after awhile...once my life had changed, it'd be "Internet Clutter".

My new goal for 2018 is to share my life with whoever wants to read about it (you bored mother-effers) and I'm not going to filter this. If you're here it's probably because you're a longtime follower or a close friend. I never spent time on my old blog "thinking" of what I should write on it. I never proofread anything and I'm horrible with grammar and I'll never try to sound poetic.

Side note from the previous blogs on this page....I am not vegan anymore. I never did it because I was trying to save all the animals in the world, I just have the most sensitive stomach ever so I was seeing if it would work for me. It doesn't at this moment - I am too lazy to make it work and I am not feeling sorry about it either. I always felt tired and I had real life daydreams about eggs. Sorry vegans! I still practice minimalism though. I moved in with my boyfriend last month and we have both been on this amazing journey or decluttering and only living with what is necessary. It has definitely been a work in progress.

 

2018 for me is about getting out of my comfort zone. What I see on the 2018 horizon is Hawaii in 10ish days, Costa Rica, a climbing trip in Cali, a marathon in Bend, a trial race in Smith Rock, and hopefully fingers crossed.....BALI. I am not sure if I will make everything work but that is not for me to overanalyze right this moment. I write this here to remind myself that these are the things I want right now. 

The Costa Rica trip is a trail running yoga retreat --I am nervous about it because I love to trail run but feel like I am slow and "not a real runner" if a lot of you ever feel that way...you get me. The thought of trail running with a bunch of stranger that may be crazy ultra runners makes my hair stand tall but I'm trying to push through that discomfort. I hate change....so I'm trying to welcome it.

I would like to do something this year that brings more people together...I am not sure how I'm going to make this work or if it will be mountains-related or maybe yoga-related. I am constantly spinning with new ideas but sometimes doing so makes me drop all the current spinning ideas which literally gets me nowhere. So this is on pause for now. Another thing I am doing is hopefully setting up more opportunities to create or take photos of people. It gets me down when living in Seattle means living in a constant downpour...but I'd like to make somethings happen soon. 

Anyway there is your update, internet land.

Minimalism

recognizing our ‘fantasy self’

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i struggle with trying to find purpose in life. my mind turns faster than my movement. i am impulsive. when i am having a ‘down’ day, i start to crave things. i want to buy things that i do not need to help fill up the ego of my fantasy self.

can you think of a way you feed your fantasy self? a fantasy self is the side of yourself that you see in your “goals”.

let’s see - someday i will accomplish blah blah and my future enriched self will wear this item, she will use this camera and she will definitely need such and such for the vacation she hasn’t bought yet.

she will buy that vacation - don’t worry, she’s just busy saving now.

she will keep clothes that don’t fit her because someday she will lose the weight and fantasy self can step back into those small flattering jeans - maybe.

 

but maybe when we reach that fantasy self, fantasy self won’t even want to wear those old fucking jeans. maybe fantasy trip to italy is no longer even in her mind and now wants a trip to greece. maybe fantasy self doesn’t need a dslr because her iphone is taking fantastic pictures - and it’s oh so compact.

 

what i’m getting at is this - we hold on to possessions and ways of being to support some fantasy version of who we wish to be. but we forget who we are.

right now.

i mean right at this moment.

 

we’re so busy thinking about the anxieties of who we want to become...maybe we should take a step back and see what’s happening at this moment. what if we focus on living one day at a time. maybe we create boundaries on our idea of fantasy self and start to truly high five our whole self, the one who we get to be every moment of right now.

 

 

that’s where i’m at right now. i recently bought a new camera on an off week which was last week. last week i was envisioning how i would feel with this specific camera. i loved it for how small and efficient it was. i obsessed about it. i watched a million youtube videos on it and when i got it, i was excited. it’s less than a week later and i want to return it because i realize how much i already love my big and heavy dslr.

 

our emotions are so tricky. when we are down,  we sometimes imagine how much better our day would be if fantasy self had a new item to add to our sad day....when in reality sad days pass and no amount of material possessions will cure that feeling for longer than a moment.

 

i’m trying to live without regret. i know that i must return this and i will feel better financially. i know that last week i was just having a down week and that it’s okay to have it. i can’t run from my feelings but i can acknowledge them.

 

things i am working on:

 

  1. return impulsive items that do not serve my reality self.
  2. when i have the chance - get out into nature, it’s free and always makes my day better.
  3. try to go to yoga 4-5 times a week and have the intention of “ground down”.
  4. spend more meaningful one on one time with my love.
  5. don’t watch the news - don’t give my opinion on the news - as i don’t believe everything the media suggests we believe in.
  6. give away all items of clothing that are either too big, too small or don’t match who i am today.
  7. ask friends and family to no longer gift me material objects but experiences instead.
  8. build savings account
  9. keep all of my clothing for my company, Choose Mountains in a storage unit. keeping work separate from home is very important for me right now.
  10. daily gratitude lists
  11. only surround myself with positive people that bring joy to my life
  12. stop worrying about what people think of me
  13. take more photographs
  14. buy replacement pieces for broken things, rather than buy entire new items, especially when things can be fixed!
  15. take workshops or classes for things i’d like to learn.

 

i believe we are all on different journeys and my journey may be quite different than others reading this. i think it’s great to always check in with yourself and make sure you are living and thriving within the reality of who you are today and not daydreaming of who you wish to be in the future. it’s a beautiful thing to water the grass we already stand on, then wish it looked like our neighbors lawn.

Minimalism

My Journey into Minimalism

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Minimalism on the INSIDE

Remove anything that distracts us from the things we value most. I love that. The last three months I have had this sick obsession of being soothed by Youtube channels that promote minimalism, pinterest pins, de-cluttering books and minimalism TED Talks. 

Three months ago I sprained my ankle right before a big climb I had planned and it through me off my "I think I am invincible" beam. Since then I went into deep concern for trying to do whatever it takes to get back to running and climbing again, I started off with becoming plant based! It all started with hearing about dairy and meat naturally inflaming the body and I just wanted the opposite of all of that....obviously.

So I went vegan. I'm still vegan....and it's working. Not just in my physical body, but in my mental body as well. I feel since I have stopped eating animal products I have become lighter physically (lost 9 pounds), and mentally....in the sense that I am no longer walking around in a food fog. 

You know when you're stressed and you reach for sugary ice cream, a nice doughnut, or maybe carb and chemical pumped fast food? Yeah.... I can't do that so basically I am constantly aware of what I'm putting inside me and don't have that mental fog glaze that I used to get by the joy of covering up my feelings with food. 


Minimalism on the OUTSIDE

So you now know that I am plant based in my diet. Becoming plant based was actually quite easy for me and once I got used to it I started looking around at everything, I mean EVERYTHING in my life. It felt so soothing to have a diet that was so pure and simple that I wanted more. I took it to my home base. This coming January I am moving in with my boyfriend and started thinking about the moving process. I started things about the THINGS I own. I started thinking about the single duffel bag that I live out of all week long as I am basically already living with him.

I noticed I wash the same clothes every week and the thought of even looking at my closet gives me anxiety. So I started small. The dresser....I took out anything I haven't worn in a year and started donating bags and bags to charity.

The closet - I am a puffy jacket horder so I basically took everything out of my closet and started selling my nice items on sites like Poshmark, Offerup and Letgo. Every single time I let something go, I felt ---happier. 

What a concept.

Maybe there is this idea that whatever you hold on to that no longer serves your purpose -will basically hold you down. Keep you stressed. It all makes sense now that half my stuff is gone. I'm a yoga teacher so in class, I say this all the time in the sense that your mental thoughts and expectations of life will keep you sick if you do not let them go....and as I was cleaning my space, I realize that this can be physical mind-cluttering objects as well. 

 

The worst part of this process were my books. I have a slight attachment to them...I self soothe in book stores and buying books so for this situation - I had to treat it like a bandaid. In one moment I came from work, scrapped the shelves and started posting every book online in various groups offering my free books, and within a day, they had new homes....and you know what? I felt nothing but joy. I didn't even have a moment of sadness. It felt so good to just have LESS.


So now I am here...reflecting on my 3-month minimal diet and minimal living space and it brings me to energy. The energy from others....

This has been a difficult thing to notice but its very real. When your mission is to declutter everything, you notice a bit more intently if a friend seems to flake out on you a lot. Before this, I could care less but now.....its almost like a warning sign. When you hold space for your flakey friends in your day and they don't show, or don't even bother to let you know at all...it's a weird feeling. It's also crazy being a woman at 30 years old seeing this clearly for the first time this late into my life. I try to remind myself to be kind and just move on. To set stronger boundaries and sometimes the people you love, you can love from afar. Our bodies, time, goals, and values are so important. It can hurt going down this road at first- but in the end its all beauty. 

So from now on I live from Intention.

I live with strong boundaries and values.

Now, I open my heart to life without the fluffy pillow on owning shit I don't need.