truenorthentic

Running, Photo Journal

You Better Step into this Moment

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This morning the alarm went off nice and late at 8am and I was excited because I knew I was running with my friend Becca today. Becca is probably one of the only people that can run at my same pace and have a full blown conversation with me for the entire run. I love that. She mostly runs on the treadmill and she wasn't sure about how her miles would translate outside so we decided to do a super chill run from Olallie State Park to Rattlesnake Lake. It ended up being about 6.4 miles or so. This is my 3rd day this week getting back into my running routine. I looked at my calendar and realized that I potentially have a full marathon in Bend, Oregon on April 22nd so training starts on February 5th. 

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I also have a trail running/yoga retreat with Run Like a Girl in March so I am really trying to get back into the routine of things. Today was AMAZING. It's so nice to be able to run again without pain (for those of you who follow me on Instagram, you're probably sick of my broken record happiness for this) but its true. I am head over heels in love with my healthy body right now. It's funny how we can take our health for granted. The second I get sick, I believe it's the end of the world and I will never feel healthy again...until you feel better and forget your random mini depression.. haha. I sprained my ankle this past summer and that to was another milestone to get through.

So we ran...she felt good, I felt good, and we honestly could've kept going but we thought that was enough for today. The rain was pouring on us for half the run and usually I'm not into that at all, but today was perfect. Directly after the run I had opened Facebook and one of my favorite people (Kerry Murphy) had a status update that was one of those mind-blowing truth bombs.

She said this:

“War be onto you if you're going into another year and wasting another year with the old mentality.
Somebody’s in the hospital begging God for the opportunity that you have right now.

You better step into this moment.”

 

Ummm...how perfect is that? How often do we forget how freaking good we have it? Even if your life, at this moment is not the way you want it....remember that there are others that are praying for the opportunity you have right now. So much truth to this. You have to ask yourself if you are really taking advantage of the gift you have at this moment. Too often - i see the opposite. I see people bitching. I see people wishing their lives were better then they are. I see a lack of gratitude for the simplicity that can be achieved once expectations are at bay. Running for me has always been a huge part of my gratitude list. I have heard that the one way to get out of depression is to focus on all the things you have to be grateful for. When you focus on the things you're grateful for, it takes away from the negative thoughts of "never enough". Anyway! short little blog for today but I wanted to share Kerry's quote and a few pictures from the trail today.

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Photo Journal

Welcoming 2018 - Without Filters

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I recently stumbled across an old app where I used to write all of my blogposts for an old website that I had for about 6 years. I blogged at least once a week for 7 YEARS!!!!! I think people appreciated it a lot because I really just used it as an open journal of my life. This app had so many drafts from all of my old blog posts and I found myself reading through so many of them with a smile on my face. It inspired me showing up again on here.

It was called tiarefitness.com and then later changed to tiareexplores.com - it always felt that it either had to be a blog about working out (which I'm obsessed with so that was easy) or it was the beginning of my outdoor adventures. 

I talked about my explorations, my yoga challenges, my yoga teacher training, my alcoholism, my DUI's, jail, running, eating disorders, sobriety and then I deleted it. Just like that goodbye last 7 years. I have never been able to hold on to a real diary because once a chapter passed in my life, THE DIARY LITERALLY WOULD GET TOSSED AWAY too. It's just like clutter....it's uncomfortable just knowing that it's there. That's how my old blogposts felt after awhile...once my life had changed, it'd be "Internet Clutter".

My new goal for 2018 is to share my life with whoever wants to read about it (you bored mother-effers) and I'm not going to filter this. If you're here it's probably because you're a longtime follower or a close friend. I never spent time on my old blog "thinking" of what I should write on it. I never proofread anything and I'm horrible with grammar and I'll never try to sound poetic.

Side note from the previous blogs on this page....I am not vegan anymore. I never did it because I was trying to save all the animals in the world, I just have the most sensitive stomach ever so I was seeing if it would work for me. It doesn't at this moment - I am too lazy to make it work and I am not feeling sorry about it either. I always felt tired and I had real life daydreams about eggs. Sorry vegans! I still practice minimalism though. I moved in with my boyfriend last month and we have both been on this amazing journey or decluttering and only living with what is necessary. It has definitely been a work in progress.

 

2018 for me is about getting out of my comfort zone. What I see on the 2018 horizon is Hawaii in 10ish days, Costa Rica, a climbing trip in Cali, a marathon in Bend, a trial race in Smith Rock, and hopefully fingers crossed.....BALI. I am not sure if I will make everything work but that is not for me to overanalyze right this moment. I write this here to remind myself that these are the things I want right now. 

The Costa Rica trip is a trail running yoga retreat --I am nervous about it because I love to trail run but feel like I am slow and "not a real runner" if a lot of you ever feel that way...you get me. The thought of trail running with a bunch of stranger that may be crazy ultra runners makes my hair stand tall but I'm trying to push through that discomfort. I hate change....so I'm trying to welcome it.

I would like to do something this year that brings more people together...I am not sure how I'm going to make this work or if it will be mountains-related or maybe yoga-related. I am constantly spinning with new ideas but sometimes doing so makes me drop all the current spinning ideas which literally gets me nowhere. So this is on pause for now. Another thing I am doing is hopefully setting up more opportunities to create or take photos of people. It gets me down when living in Seattle means living in a constant downpour...but I'd like to make somethings happen soon. 

Anyway there is your update, internet land.

Minimalism

recognizing our ‘fantasy self’

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i struggle with trying to find purpose in life. my mind turns faster than my movement. i am impulsive. when i am having a ‘down’ day, i start to crave things. i want to buy things that i do not need to help fill up the ego of my fantasy self.

can you think of a way you feed your fantasy self? a fantasy self is the side of yourself that you see in your “goals”.

let’s see - someday i will accomplish blah blah and my future enriched self will wear this item, she will use this camera and she will definitely need such and such for the vacation she hasn’t bought yet.

she will buy that vacation - don’t worry, she’s just busy saving now.

she will keep clothes that don’t fit her because someday she will lose the weight and fantasy self can step back into those small flattering jeans - maybe.

 

but maybe when we reach that fantasy self, fantasy self won’t even want to wear those old fucking jeans. maybe fantasy trip to italy is no longer even in her mind and now wants a trip to greece. maybe fantasy self doesn’t need a dslr because her iphone is taking fantastic pictures - and it’s oh so compact.

 

what i’m getting at is this - we hold on to possessions and ways of being to support some fantasy version of who we wish to be. but we forget who we are.

right now.

i mean right at this moment.

 

we’re so busy thinking about the anxieties of who we want to become...maybe we should take a step back and see what’s happening at this moment. what if we focus on living one day at a time. maybe we create boundaries on our idea of fantasy self and start to truly high five our whole self, the one who we get to be every moment of right now.

 

 

that’s where i’m at right now. i recently bought a new camera on an off week which was last week. last week i was envisioning how i would feel with this specific camera. i loved it for how small and efficient it was. i obsessed about it. i watched a million youtube videos on it and when i got it, i was excited. it’s less than a week later and i want to return it because i realize how much i already love my big and heavy dslr.

 

our emotions are so tricky. when we are down,  we sometimes imagine how much better our day would be if fantasy self had a new item to add to our sad day....when in reality sad days pass and no amount of material possessions will cure that feeling for longer than a moment.

 

i’m trying to live without regret. i know that i must return this and i will feel better financially. i know that last week i was just having a down week and that it’s okay to have it. i can’t run from my feelings but i can acknowledge them.

 

things i am working on:

 

  1. return impulsive items that do not serve my reality self.
  2. when i have the chance - get out into nature, it’s free and always makes my day better.
  3. try to go to yoga 4-5 times a week and have the intention of “ground down”.
  4. spend more meaningful one on one time with my love.
  5. don’t watch the news - don’t give my opinion on the news - as i don’t believe everything the media suggests we believe in.
  6. give away all items of clothing that are either too big, too small or don’t match who i am today.
  7. ask friends and family to no longer gift me material objects but experiences instead.
  8. build savings account
  9. keep all of my clothing for my company, Choose Mountains in a storage unit. keeping work separate from home is very important for me right now.
  10. daily gratitude lists
  11. only surround myself with positive people that bring joy to my life
  12. stop worrying about what people think of me
  13. take more photographs
  14. buy replacement pieces for broken things, rather than buy entire new items, especially when things can be fixed!
  15. take workshops or classes for things i’d like to learn.

 

i believe we are all on different journeys and my journey may be quite different than others reading this. i think it’s great to always check in with yourself and make sure you are living and thriving within the reality of who you are today and not daydreaming of who you wish to be in the future. it’s a beautiful thing to water the grass we already stand on, then wish it looked like our neighbors lawn.

Photo Journal

Welcoming Fall

Three months ago I had a bad sprain and was unable to do a lot of hikes and climbs I had planned this past summer. This made me practically crazy. Sometimes I would attempt a hike, which then would be followed by one or two weeks of having to restart my healing. I would ice and elevate every night and wear wraps and tape up for everything. I had to find gratitude that it wasn't worse. Eventually things got easier and I went through summer healing and finding my way back into a stronger yoga practice that I now see as a huge blessing. The last two years I have been teaching yoga every week more than I'd actually been taking yoga and it showed. Once yoga became my only form of exercise, I started to improve stability without pain quickly. 

I believe that having a more regular practice has helped my mental as well as physical state in order to get me back out on the trials. This brings me to now. Within the last week I actually did three different hikes! What a blessing and just in time for my favorite season of them all - Fall. 

This was my first hike back and it was mainly a scramble for half the hike, with a good amount of elevation gain with great reward:

I felt so inspired by that hike that a few days later my boyfriend Derek and I decided to go to a place in Rainier National Park called Fremont Lookout. This hike is avery popular trail so we went on a Sunday evening and got to watch the sunset behind Rainier, it was glorious.

The colors were starting to change and the views were incredible. This past Wednesday my friend Shelley asked me to come with her to a hike called Lake Valhalla. I have done this hike before for a Choose Mountains meetup but never saw a view because it was socked in and snowing the last time I'd been there so I was excited to go back and see the change of colors. Look at what a beautiful turnout this was:

Washington is one of the most beautiful places in the US. I can't believe that I got to do all of these hikes within a week with NO PAIN AT ALL. It's amazing to see the journey of where our lives take us and in this moment I'm just so happy to be able to experience so many things. I am hoping to blog more often on this site. Feels like home to me to blog again. I used to blog for 7 years so it's just so nice to get back into. I have more ideas for the future so stay tuned!